That is one of the most repeated comments when people see me with my 3 children. I just smile and say "yes" cause what else am I to say? It's true I do have my hands full, but the comment is also a whole pile of questions in one - are you okay? Are you happy? Are you crazy? And while I always just say "yes" because it's really what people want to hear, sometimes I would like to go into more detail about just how crazy it really is, but of course I've got my hands full so there isn't really a lot of time for details like that.
I think it really hit me about 2 weeks ago when the boy turned 6 weeks. Along with his baby acne came feelings I expected to feel a lot sooner but really hadn't yet. I suddenly came down from my high and finally had the thought "hey this is hard work!" I tried to ignore it and go back to that happy place, that place where I felt confident and excited and energetic. I do feel these things still, but there are many more negative thoughts as well.
I am finding myself more frustrated and quick to yell these days. Never at the sweet little Oliver baby because it occurred to me that he does less crying and whining than the girls do. Some days all I want to do is hang out with my boy in the calm and gentle manner of babies and yet I am constantly denied this precious time to go tend to some disaster in toddler land. I do suspect that the babymoon for the girls has worn off too, although they continue to wow me with their love for their brother. There are many cute moments in the day and there are plenty of happy fun times too. However the tantrums, outbursts and lack of listening has increased to a level I am not too sure I can handle.
I often look forward to going to work, something I am ashamed to admit. I know it is easier to go to work than to stay at home even if I am working with Oliver. Easier because I am not just cleaning up one mess after another. Easier because people at work talk to me in a language I can understand and they always say please and never yell and scream at me. Easier because I don't hear things like "Ahhhhhhh I can't get bite my own elbow ahhhhhhh" which is just one of the things a very tired Lily was screaming about this afternoon. I laughed of course, but she was seriously pissed off about not being able to accomplish this feat and it took a long time to calm her down and help her understand that it simply isn't possible to do that.So yes, I do have my hands full these days, full of love but also full of googly gobbly little monkeys who try my patience and test their boundaries every chance they get.
9 comments:
I get that comment a lot with only 2...I can only imagine how much I will hear it once I have 3 as well.....
Hang in there...all too soon you will get to regail tales of their rebellious teenage years!
Comments that contain presumptions or implied judgment can be irritating - that's what "you must have your hands full" smacks of.
As for how you're experiencing this mom-of-three thing, thank you for sharing your feelings and streses and of course, all that love! I can't imagine ... and have to say what you must hear all the time too, that I've got my hands full with one, can't imagine THREE! But of course, we get through things somehow, and as cliched as this sounds, I believe that we are given as much as we can handle. And you're doing it!!
Well written Reesh! I laughed out loud about what Lily said...I've decided it pisses me off too that I can't do that! LOL!
I totally hear you on this! Of course, I only have two so far, but the oldest is very...firey? The baby is my sweet cuddler, my calm in the storm, as I call her.
Now that my husband & I are working from homes he's doing a lot of chores & taking care of the kids while I'm in the office on the phones. WOW. How much easier it is to be a working mom. I don't take nearly as much satisfaction in the job & I do prefer rearing my children, but, working is definitely easier.
I think although I laughed out loud at the elbow story I can understand your frustration. I am sorry that you are having some down days but at least it's safe to say ...we all do. Being a Mom is super hard work. So, I imagine being a mom of three is three times as hard.
Hi. I have read for a long time but not commented for... years? I have twin 3 yr olds and a 1 yr old, so in a similar boat to you. I stayed home for 2 years, and it was beautiful and also very hard (with the twins, I mean). One of my boys had health issues, and that added to the stress. On the other hand, there were lovely walks, snuggles, and sweet moments. Baby #3 came, and I had to go back to teaching in order to help support the family. It's been hard having him with a babysitter, but to my surprise, I feel a lot saner than I used to. For real. My objectivity has returned. Being a working mom *is* a lot easier in many ways (although, I don't think people should be quick to assume that it's a simple exsistance by any means). For one thing, I believe in what I do- I make a difference and contribute my talents to the world, not just through raising my children but in ADDITION to raising my children. It sounds like you do too, in starting your juice bar- a place where people can go to be healthy and to relax. Also, my baby has a truly wonderful babysitter who loves him with all her heart- and he loves her too. It sounds like your children are getting to know their dad even better when you are away. How awesome is it that a child should know that someone other than his or her mom loves him and can be there for him? Again, in ADDITION to his mom. Just to give the full picture and be completely honest, I don't feel like I am quite as intimately connected with #3 as I was with the twins. But we do our best- I still breastfeed, which helps a lot with the bond, and he is always delighted to see me and to see his babysitter. So at least for now, he is happy as a clam. All this to say that it's natural to feel worn out and guilty and all that with 3 very small children. (By the way, I get that "hands full" comment constantly!) And it's okay to prefer your work outside the home sometimes. Balance is not often encouraged in MomWorld is very real ways, but I think it really should be. Moms are people too, and you can be completely dedicated without being completely sacrificing of your well-being.
I certainly don't have anything more to add to the intelligent and thoughful comments above, but thought I would anyways. I use to get the 'handsful' comment all the time while walking my two large (and very well trained if not a tick quirky) dogs. I think it's just something people grab for when they see a situation they can't immediately relate too; or in your case see a cute little family and just have to say something to acknowledge you before they burst from the cuteness you exude.
Hey Reesh, hang in there! And please don't beat yourself up over feeling happy to go to work. I too am happy to return to the office on Monday after a three-day weekend with a toddler. The office, where everything stays where I put it, and once in a while people say "Good job" or even just "Thank you"! Yes, the civilized world ... don't feel guilty for enjoying it!
I am in total awe of you Marussia and indeed of all mommies... Your children are so beautiful! My hat is off to you all!
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