I exaggerate, but seriously, they call them terrible for a reason. Suddenly life with the 3 amigos is not so chummy.
I think it hit me that things had changed when I one day realised that I yell - a lot - and I really don't like yelling. In fact it's not a form of parenting that I ever wanted to get into. I want to be patient. I want to figure out solutions to my children's problems in a calm and collected manner. I want to work with my children, listen to their ideas and teach them through my actions what is wrong and what is right. I never got into this whole parenting thing so I could yell at my offspring.
But sometimes, I just get that rage that builds up inside of me and it comes out in a rather loud ROOOAAAARRRR!! I scare them. I scare myself. I don't feel better after. Usually the problem I couldn't fix without yelling didn't magically fix itself with yelling added on. Then I hear Lily yelling at Nadia for something and I know that my behaviour as the adult, has taught Lily to act just like me.
Suddenly life with 3 is hard. Nadia won't listen. Nadia likes to bite and hit and pinch Lily and usually it's all 3 things on Lily's face. Lily screams at Nadia and in pain. I try to comfort Lily while sending Nadia to her room. Nadia picks her brother up. She drops him. He cries. I get upset. She hits me because I told her not to do something. I tell her not to hit me. She starts screaming and throws herself on the ground and has a fit. I try to comfort her and she hits me again. Then she hits Oliver. I get really upset and send her to her room. She won't go. I drag her there while Oliver and Lily are screaming and Nadia is still having a screaming fit. I feel stressed. I feel rage. I yell. Everyone is still screaming. Nothing is solved except now they are scared of me for yelling. Eventually everything stops and they carry on as if nothing happened, but I feel awful. And then it happens all over again 5 minutes later and repeats over and over again until I'm totally insane.
That's just one example.
Example number 2. Nadia has decided she wants boobie again ALL THE TIME! She was only nursing before and after her nap and once in the morning and once before bed at night. I was okay with this since I am still nursing Oliver full time. But them she went and changed the rules and now demands boobie all day long. I am sure this is a reaction to me going back to work 3 days a week, but I really don't want to be nursing 2 children full time. She won't be told no either. If I say no she screams and cries and has a fit and it doesn't end it just keeps going and going and going until she's so upset and I am so angry. I have given in now. I don't want to have these negative feeling towards her. If I continue to say no all the time then my whole day with her will be her screaming at me and me just hating being at home with her. Sometimes though I still have to say no. Sometimes I have to nurse Oliver or it is simply not a good time to nurse her. We still have fights over it and it's very frustrating and just plain annoying.
And there are many many more examples.
Oh and in case you were wondering, I am so not having anymore children!







