This too Shall Pass

Right? Lily won't be this whiny, fussy, terror forever, right? She will change back to her lovable ole self again, won't she? After all, it's like one night I put Lily to sleep and the next morning this other child woke up in her place. So surely one morning the old Lily will be there to greet the day and all will be forgotten and I will want to continue to be a stay at home mom and not feel emotionally drained at the end of the day, right? Surely not everything has to be done her way and only her way, does it? We can get dressed, eat food, play with toys, go for walks etc without having a fit about it all, can't we? My job from now on isn't going to be me keeping the peace between Lily and her little sister every second of every day, is it? They will be the best of friends like my sister and I, won't they? My next post will be me laughing at how this phase too has passed and we will all be happy little campers again, right? Right?

The Right Stuff

Seems the New Kids are still quite favourable with my new kids. I bought a New Kids On The Block tape for $0.25 today at the Sally and took a trip down grade 8 lane. It was rewound to side 2 so the first song that came on was The Right Stuff and Lily asked me to make it louder so I did. After the song was done she shouted "more oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" over and over again while I rewound the tape. I'm sure you all remember the "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" comes just before they say "the right stuff." So I got her to keep saying the "oh-oh" part and I sang "the right stuff" part and damn it if we weren't the coolest car driving round town singin' at the top of our lungs! I knew my fabulous taste in music would rub off on my children eventually, I just didn't realize it would be this rewarding so fast! The awesomer part is that we've only just broken ground on 1 of their songs and we still have a whole tape of goodies left to pass those boring car rides by. Thanks NKOTB - still workin' it after all these years...

The Ego Has Landed

In the last 4-5 days Lily has stopped saying things like "Lily all done now" or "Lily wants to play with that." Instead she talks in the first person using phrases that begin with "I" like "I want that" or more commonly "I don't want to do that." According to Waldorf educators, in addition to her grammar developing, she is also coming into her own Ego. She has a clearer sense of herself and she suddenly knows exactly what it is that this new self wants or doesn't want. She seems to really understand that certain things belong to her and she does not want to share them with ANYONE else. It's literally like her awareness has grown leaps and bounds in a matter of a week. It's absolutely amazing to watch. Communication has greatly improved as she is now able to tell me exactly what she wants or doesn't want. Of course with all that came the realization that she would rather do exactly the opposite of what I want. With each amazing step forward, there is always a little bit of tricky parenting needed to be magically pulled out of thin air. Today I caught myself saying "don't be careful" in the hopes that she would do the opposite. My laughter stopped any thoughts of defiance or acceptance and we toddled of to playgroup in the hale storm to play with our friends.

How's da mumma doin?

Life has been a little hectic as of late. My sister Kyla and I bought a beat up old smoothie trailer with the dream of selling real fruit smoothies to people at large musical events all summer. Born out of frustration at never being able to eat anything at these types of events and the fact that we have children now whom we want to guide in the right eating direction. We will hopefully call ourselves "Be The Change Smoothie Wagon" as long as the name gets approved. We're going to start with the local Farmer's Market which runs on Saturdays from May thru Dec.

Being a full time mom doesn't leave a lot of physical time in one's day to work on fixing up a beat up ole smoothie trailer. I also find that I don't have a lot of room in the ole mom brain to multi task like I used to do so well. And it's a little confusing, because the dream is real, it really would be so freakin kick ass if Kyla and I could actually pull something like this off, but we're both constantly torn about it all because it is such a time sucker right now. I feel like a half ass mom cause even when I'm not working on the damn thing, I'm stressing about all the things that still need to get done. I feel bad about that. I really was having such a great time just being a stay at home mom and my kid's were just raking in the love and attention. Then I got it into my head that I needed to do something for myself.

On the hard days, the days when the whining and the deliberate toy throwing and the word "that" instead of actually saying what "that" is and constant neediness of my children sucks me into a void of frustration and borderline anger that makes me think they're actually trying to make me crazy, well yeah, I dream about waking up on Saturday morning and going to work for myself in my smoothie wagon with my sister. I lust for those 6 hours once a week when yes, I'll still be working, but there won't be a child pulling at my pant leg and screaming "boobie" at the top of her lungs. It'll just be me and the blenders and the constant stream of happy customers drinking our delicious smoothies and talking in a real language that I can understand and have an actual conversation with. It will be awesome.

On the easy days, the days when we laugh and laugh and laugh, the days when we cuddle for no reason, when we sing songs and paint pictures, when we tickle each other and crawl around the house playing peekaboo, on the easy days, I don't even want to miss those 6 hours at home. And I certainly don't want to be spending so much time working on getting it up and running that I'm unable to be the mom I want to be right now.

So this mumma is having an inner battle right now and has been very bad at blogging as of late. I'm overdue for Lily's 26 Month letter which really needs to be done, because there are so many cool things happening with her lately. And Nadia just turned 8 months and couldn't possibly be any happier if she tried. That girl laughs and smiles at everything, even her big sister when she cries, she thinks that is especially funny!

Anyways, I know I know, it will happen, it will be great (and it really will) I'll get over my going back to work 6 hours a week anxiety about leaving my children and life will lead us right into another wonderful adventure as soon as this one is up and running.

It is going to be so freakin' awesome!

7 Months

Dearest Nadster,

You are a girl on a mission and you are always in a constant state of motion. You still like to be held, but usually only when you are quite tired. Otherwise you want down and you want to explore. You are an expert crawler and there isn't a piece of furniture left in our house that you haven't pulled yourself to standing on. You can push yourself up to sitting and are much more stable on your bum now. Although you seem to hurt yourself less from falling over while sitting, you seem to hurt your head more from crawling under and into things. Like the exersaucer for example - such a great place to crawl under, but once you are in you try to sit up and continually bonk your head, unable to "get" that you real can't sit up in there. Maybe one too many bonks to the head it seems!


We transitioned you from our bed to your very own crib next to our bed. Mommy is getting a bit more sleep because of it and we are working on getting you to fall asleep on your own instead of on the boobie. Last night you went into your crib awake and fussed for about 3 minutes before falling asleep for 4 hours straight - a record for you and a relief for me to know that we are making progress! We have not been letting you cry it out and for the amount of patience the gentle approach has required of me, I am giving myself a huge pat on the back. Training babies to fall asleep on their own is a lot of freakin' work, but in the end I will be able to look back and feel proud for how we helped you learn this important skill.

Naps are still hard because we are always out and about with Lily so you end up napping in the car seat and the Ergo a lot. But when we can we do the same routine as at night and get you a decent nap in your own bed. You have 3 naps a day - 2 in the morning and one in the late afternoon. You are ready for bed by 7:30pm most nights and sometimes even a little earlier. You wake up about 6:15am and nurse snooze in bed with me til about 7:15am when you are up for the day.

Your second tooth is peaking it's head out at the world and I must say you are a rather good sport about it. However - if you could kindly stop biting me when we nurse that would be greatly appreciated. And if you could stop smiling at me when I tell you not to bite me - that would be great too!

You are enamored with your Dada and when you see him your whole face lights up. You are still playing strange with other people, but my sister Kyla and Duston babysat you the other night and you did totally fine. In fact you have taken quite a liking to Uncle Duston - something about those Dada type people I guess. You have also taken a liking to Kona and Kumi and much like your big sister did at your age you LOVE it when they "kiss" you which involves a lot of licking and is sort of disgusting. Kyla sees you working with animals in the future but hopefully you won't be so into making out with them when you're older.

You remain the easy going gal you've always been and I am so thankful for that. You are content to just roam around the house while I tend to your older sister's many wants and needs. Someone asked me if I thought you were born that way or if you just saw that that was what was needed of you and adapted to better fit into the family puzzle. I truly believe you we are born with our greatest personality traits already intact. You are through and through a very easy going, calm and patient person - all wonderful qualities for a wonderful girl.

I love you,
Mumma